What about work

I had a health screening at work this morning. Blood tests always make me feel very weak and sleepy, and if I can, I will sleep right after. Today was harder because I had to work (not that I didn’t NOT do work previously, or took leave, but there are ways around that my friends).

Anyways, went out for lunch with some of my colleagues yesterday and they were talking about how they each found their jobs. To be honest, it isn’t anything new because anything and everything good or bad about a workplace, I had already ‘been there, done that’ in my previous job. When I say this and people ask me how long I was there and I say two years, they all look at me like I am lying. I swear to you, I am not. Even staff who were more than 10-20 years said to me that they never had to go through what I went through, and that’s saying some shit okays.

To draw a general comparison, I was already drawn deep into some shitty office politics/drama within the first three months at my old job, no thanks to my spineless hairless ex-“manager”. FIRST THREE MONTHS OK. You tell me. How is that possible? But it did. I actually started to type about what went on and then I decided, I am not going to do my taste of hell on earth justice hahaha.

But here, I have a large degree of autonomy over my work. I can manage my time well because I don’t have to submit to the whims and fancies of bosses who don’t know how to manage their time well but insist they do because they are delusional. I now spend 25% of the time I used to spend travelling to work (aka 30 minutes vs the 2-hour journey I had to endure sampai sakit punggung). People don’t disturb me unnecessarily out of the pure evil intention of their hearts. And my bosses are mostly not people who have no care for these two things called ‘family’ or ‘life’.

(I am very sarcastic and caustic if I don’t filter myself, but I do have to give credit to one boss whom I genuinely love dearly because genuine is all she has been for us, and for that I ❤ her.)

For some, it can seem like there’s not much of a challenge, or you cannot learn much from what you are doing in this company (depending on your specific job function). But that’s not really the case for me. While I am not so bogged down by work as much as I used to, I am still on a steep learning curve and my workload is still HUGE. In fact I like having a lot of work to do, as I have discovered from the interim job I was in where I went to work to basically do nothing and I hated it!

After I left my previous job, I told myself if I leave my next position, I must make sure I can either do part-time work or take on freelance jobs from them. As I am planning to settle down and we are exploring the idea of having me stay home with the kids (because we both believe a mother at home is best for children especially in Singapore, and also because I am a homebody), but also I don’t want to lose that stream of income. That narrows down the options quite a bit. And alhamdulillah, this job offers that. Insya Allah, maybe in three to five years time, I can consider cutting down from full-time to part-time or freelance and Allah swt will provide for us just the same.

Not interested in climbing ladders, not interested in breaking glass ceilings, not interested in proving myself to others.

I just want to do a good job as sincerely as I can and contribute positively to the company in the capacity that I can. And save up as much as I can. Not just for the wedding or the house, but for after all that as well.

Bismillahi tawakkaltu ‘alAllahi.


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