So we had a briefing from the bride-to-be for her wedding next week! Eeeks, so exciting and scary at the same time, macam aku yang nak kawin. Serious, it seems like it was just yesterday we were helping her then-boyfriend plan for the surprise engagement at our alma mater despite us never meeting the boyfriend in person before hahaha. We are one bunch of very trusting and just go with the flow type of girls. It’s going to be one tiring Saturday, but insyaAllah all will be worth it 🙂 Doakan everything goes smoothly for my friend, Amiin.
And then in the midst of it I also like kinda dropped the bomb on my friends that I was planning to get engaged, cos one of my friends is moving to Msia to further her studies and I heard her saying she wanted to leave on the date of my tunang, and then I desperately went “PLEASE DONT LEAVE ON DD/MM PLEASE!!” hahahaha Then everyone was like HUH WHY WHATS HAPPENING ARE YOU GETTING ENGAGED??!!
When we parted ways, I headed home with one of my friends and we talked about broaching the subject of marriage with our parents. I remember that earlier on in both of our relationships we talked to each other about how protective and/or ngiau our parents can get with regards to us. With everything that she told me, subhanallah I could totally relate, I understood every single difficulty she was going through. Even though the dynamics is different, the situation and the context is similar and honestly, all I could tell was to be patient and don’t worry because, that is honestly all that I can do myself as well. Except that I have actually gone past that hurdle of broaching the subject, and then just keeping my head low about it and pretending like it’s not a big deal. Actually, it doesn’t feel like it is a big deal, maybe because we are caught up with my brother’s wedding for now and then I am stressing over a few big projects I have to get done by February and I don’t know how I am going to do it T.T
But yeah. If anyone out there is finding it difficult to talk to your parents about getting married and feeling like you’re alone, please know that you are not alone.
Yes, it does seem like you are alone in this matter because I can’t think of anyone else in this Malay community of kahwin/kahwin that would be opposed to marriage. But there are. There are people like my parents, and people like my friend’s parents.
Just know that you are not alone, I know how you feel. My friend knows how you feel. Even though we may not know one another, we are connected by the knowledge of the same pain and worry.
I honestly cannot tell you how to get through it, because I don’t think I am through with it myself. But I can tell you that it helps to have a patient and understanding partner. Insya Allah, if you have found the right person, you will find the strength in them to carry on, be patient, have faith and just trudge on.
Just give it some time. If it doesn’t happen right now, or whenever you want it to, maybe it is not the right time yet and whatever that happens that is stopping you is just Allah swt showing you now’s not the time.
I know it is easier said than done. Believe me, I know how it feels. I know how it feels when all we have to go on with is faith. But maybe that is enough.
Bismillahi tawakkaltu ‘alAllahi.