life · Money · Wedding


Truth be told, I so lazy to do work today OMG, I say as I am typing this literally above stacks of manuscripts that need copyediting…

But really it’s because of this flu bug or haze or what that is going around. I am having runny nose and sneezing like crazy the past two days. Bila kat rumah takde pulak. Literally time nak bukak pintu nak keluar rumah is when the nose starts leaking. #allergictowork

Then I am also suddenly plagued with penyakit MALAS. MALAS nak jumpa bobal dengan vendor. Boleh gitu. Padehal last week, semangat berkobar-kobar benar. This week, perangai stoppit seh.

Anyway, we did a stock take of our finances last week, and I don’t know why we are so penakut in terms of spending and managing our money, when actually our savings will much exceed our planned expenditure in sha Allah. I know a lot of couples say to not begin married life in debt, but I also hear a lot of couple say they are broke the moment they begin married life — both scenarios, I would like to avoid. In sha Allah, we can avoid.

Anyway, this is important eh guys — must always keep stock of how much you have spent, how much you need to spend, how much more you have to save up, how much you aim to save up per month. Ask your partner, is he/she having trouble saving, did anything crop up in their lives that they need to rechannel their resources to, or if you see them frivolously spending, maybe need to slow talk or what. Better nip it in the bud. Pasal duit, korang jangan main-main okay.

I just, I don’t know, I’m thinking of that recent incident in Malaysia where the guy gets beaten up because his hantaran to the girl is short of RM5K, and everyone is talking about it like OMG WHAT A SURPRISE. But seriously, wouldn’t the couple have talked about this before the majlis? Like shouldn’t the guy tell the girl that maybe he’s worried he won’t be able to save up in time, or wouldn’t the girl want to ask, how are you doing on the hantaran front? Do you need more time? Should we postpone so you have time to save up, or should we speak to our parents again to adjust the hantaran?

Like seriously,  KORANG TAK BERBUAL KE PASAL BENDA GINI?? Like I know la not romantic, but tolong lah, sejak bila topic duit romantic, you tell me? It’s only romantic when you spend but don’t say anything about the amount you spend. Nak romantic sangat, then don’t even mention duit or hantaran or mas kahwin, and just keep it between the two of you. (Like Yusry KRU not mentioning his hantaran for Lisa Surihani to the media, I always thought that was ground-breaking and romantic, but maybe I am weird.)

Communication is missing seh. When people say “communication”, it’s not just about likes and dislikes, ideals and aspirations, I tell you I love you, you tell me you love me. It’s about money as well kan! (Lagi sikit aku type monye… macam monyet betul lah.)  Another type of penyakit seh this one — penyakit berat mulut, penyakit procrastinate, penyakit melebih-lebih, penyakit assumptions…

So many things could have been avoided if the affected parties communicated. Awkward and difficult lah of course, but better than destroying the majlis like some drama Melayu. I think more Malay dramas should have story lines that are focused on solving problems, rather than creating them. Instead of delegating the final episode of each 50-episode series to teary-eyed bitches and assholes who suddenly see the error of their ways in just 10 minutes, when they spend 49 episodes ruining people’s lives. If that is the (only) way to educate the Malay masses to re-think the way they live their lives, then of course the mass media has an important role to play in this.

But then, of course, mainstream Malay media are like any other media that only thinks of profit and not the social responsibility they play as the apparatus closest to the hearts and mind of the masses.

I just seriously kesian everyone involved, not like pity oh no why did it happen to you, but like pity, this shouldnt have happened and could be avoided in the first place.



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