Needless to say, our search for a good venue that can host our combined wedding provided me constant headaches throughout the wedding planning stage of about 1.5 years thus far. BAPAK PENING OI.
When we first started planning the wedding in November/December 2015, we were quite set on two venues that were quite near for me, i.e., Masjid Arraudhah in Bukit Gombak or Bukit Batok Community Club in Bukit Batok Central. All our planning henceforth were based on this original concept and we made arrangements for vendors based on this.
However, certain things happened financially in 2016 which totally derailed my financial planning for the wedding and really put me in a lot of stress, which of course, puts Mr. I under a lot of stress too (cos of me haha). So we decided to not go ahead with our plans for the mosque or BBCC anymore.
Although we were still looking for a CC, so we kinda went on a nation-wide search for a CC that was affordable and somewhere central. Because the “discontent” at that point in time was “Bukit Batok so far… East side CC bigger and nicer…” I even considered trying to book that open air “hall” at Toa Payoh Central just because the rental of that place is free, but after asking a random person who recently did her wedding there, she advised me that they needed generators to provide electricity, there was no washing allowed so they had to use disposable cutlery (which I am not on board with cos of environmental reasons), and basically it might not work for us since our majlis is in December, and there is high chance of rain.
Then we decided to be more humble and do the majlis at a void deck in front of mine, since it was larger and airier. For a few months, I was walking past the void deck and thinking, yes, this might work. This void deck is awesome. BUT THEN, HIP renovations happened. I checked with an annoying Town Council officer who was only serving me attitude, and even the HIP office didn’t give me correct information on when the reno works will end. Sigh. Back to the drawing board.
Then there was some arguments between me and my parents about where to do the wedding. By this time, we decided we wanted to do at another void deck in my neighbourhood which was about two roads away. The area surrounding it is beautiful OK, and I was unconsciously cursing like why parents didn’t pick a house here hahaha. Then my dad kicked up a fuss about how it’s too far from the house, and people cannot solat, if we do it at our void deck people can come up and solat, and if they don’t solat, we will tanggung their dosa.
I’m just like… -.- SO IF THE PERSON MEMANG HARI-HARI TAK SOLAT, DATANG MAJLIS KITA TAKKAN DIA TIBA-TIBA NAK SOLAT JUST BECAUSE MY HOUSE IS UPSTAIRS. THEN IF DIA TAK SOLAT JUGAK, TETAP KITA TANGGUNG DOSA DIA LAH. ~Sabar je lah.
One day, someone in my block did his/her majlis kahwin and they pasang all kinds of tents and extensions and platforms. Looks good lah. At this point I was almost like, pasrah, OK lah let’s just do it like this person has done. So we took photos of the person’s majlis, sent it to our decor company and asked them what is the quotation for the erection (lols) of such extra platforms and tentages. And she quoted a whopping $3K++ OK. Dalam hati, mak kau, might as well I book a CC with all those extra costs.
Mr. I and I were then uhming and arring about what to do. His siblings (at the request of his mother) were willing to fork out the $3K++ for the tentages. I wasn’t keen on it because, well, these people were the ones who kept going “mahal this” and “mahal that” at every single thing we did for our wedding planning, when like… the vendors we engaged aren’t even the “high-tier” vendors. My idea is, if we do at void deck, might as well keep it as simple and low-cost as possible.
Also the same people who keep going “your void deck is tiny”, “our brother is the last child, we need to do a good majlis for him”, “mahalnya”, “tak payah susah-susah buat kat CC”, “how about you follow our plan and let’s do at a hotel”. I guess, intentions are good, whether forced or not, but consistency is not exactly the strongest quality. I was very, very, very confused and agitated at the number of times the stances changed.
Do not get me wrong. I am thankful if you want to “sponsor” because yes, this is your family too after all, but please make up your mind. I’m sure all you brides to be and past brides will know, we have enough headaches as it is, especially if we are the ones doing the planning on our own, paying for our vendors on our own. While we try to go on our daily routines as normally as possible. I have enough work and family drama to deal with. I definitely do not need more headaches. attitude or drama. I do not just shake leg and instruct you guys to pay for my wedding. Please understand what I am going through.
Anyway, another reason why I wasn’t keen on my void deck (other than the fact that it is tiny) is that, what would people say. Now, I normally do not care what people say about me. If you are my friend, you will know this about me. I REALLY DON’T GIVE A DAMN. However, I do care about what people say about my loved ones. I will not tolerate your nonsense. And the very biggest niggling nonsense “saying” I had at the back of my mind throughout was: “Apasal buat kat side perempuan aje, side lelaki tak buat. Ni mesti lelaki dia tak mampu.”
You can have all the logistical, practical, and logical reasons and answers in this world ready for this type of puaka questions. But the mentality of the people who ask these puaka questions… they are not looking for answers. They just want to sakitkan hati orang. So next time, if you encounter people yang sengaja tanya soalan puaka macam gini, please save your breath and energy, and don’t answer. Kasi death stare je cukup.
I am not making this one certain puaka question up. I have legit come across makcik-makcik mulut berpuaka who ask this question with no amount of shame or segan silu at all to the face of the host parents. Then, they turn around and whisper whisper to their friends “ahh pengantin lelaki tak mampu… kesian… ah terima kasihlah jemput kita eh.”
Terima kasih bapak kau. Sila Meninggal Please.
Back to my point of not liking what people would say — I guess this stems from my desire to jaga maruah Mr. I and his family, even though they may not think this is important. (Nanti aku ditanya, ni ikut Islam ke ikut Budaya. AHAHAHAH lagi satu soalan cepumas untuk pengupasan perbincangan kita pada lain hari ye kengkawan.) So, for me, I would rather we do at a “side”-neutral location, although I would prefer it nearer my house because, kita perempuan lagi banyak khazanah ye, faham-faham sajelah ye, terima kasih.
OK I think my post has gotten a tad bit too long for me to continue on what we then decided to do after this. So I shall continue in the next post. There’s too much ranting for the next part, this post has had enough of “hard truths” lol.
Till the next one!