lol Dramatic title much, but I was just reflecting on my wedding a few weeks ago, and was thinking about the things that went wrong and could’ve gone horribly wrong. But alhamdulillah, they didn’t go wrong, and great thanks to me following my guts (even when I was being told I was being “buruk sangka”) and not caring what other people thought, and taking charge of everything, BECAUSE THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don’t remember if I mentioned this previously (and also too lazy to read back on my entries lol) but I think I remember talking about how Mr. I’s (absentee) father actually wanted to be a saksi for the nikah. (But when Mr. I asked him for details, he mati-mati say he dont want and didnt want to give us the details, so I asked my brother for his details instead). But then, behind our backs, his father told everyone we didn’t let him be the saksi, and that we didn’t ask him, and that we were being insolent little shits.
After much digging, Mr. I found out that actually when he asked his (absentee) father, actually the father was “malu tapi mahu” (BUT LIKE DIS SINGAPORE BEB NOT BATAM KITA SEMUA IKUT RULE OK). So actually he wanted Mr. I to pujuk him. Mr. I doesn’t even pujuk his own wife, what makes you think he gonna pujuk a man he hasn’t had a decent conversation with in 10 years?
We were literally fighting with each other when this happened OK. When I insisted that we use my brother as one of the saksi, cos I knew, deep down inside, I knew in my guts, this guy was gonna be a flake.
And a flake, he was.
After making that big hoo-ha, Mr. I was still half hoping (and I know, deep down, half happy) that at least his father would be attending the wedding.
One week before the wedding, he told Mr. I’s brother (never even tell the poor son directly) that he was “sick” and doctors advised him to have lots of “bed rest”, so he would not be coming to the wedding.
LOL Imagine if I had not stood my ground, and had a soft heart, and given in and made him one of the saksi. One week is not enough time to have the Pejabat Kadi to change the details for us to be able to receive our marriage certificate on the spot after the nikah. We were going to Malaysia for our honeymoon right after the wedding. Kalau kita kena tangkap khalwat, how? We won’t have proof we are married.
Don’t need to say what I was feeling la when I heard the news. I know Mr. I was numb to it by then.
The wedding day comes and goes by.
The next week, we had news that Mr. I’s father was coming to Singapore. You know for what? Because his sister was treating the whole family to lunch.
HA HA HA.
I thought somebody was “sick” and needs “lots of bed rest”.
The only lesson I can impart to you is, if you think something is really wrong, and you know you should do something else, even if it goes against what everyone else says and even if people fitnah you, even if people burukkan you pun, if you feel strongly about something, just do what you know you need to.
But it has to be something with serious consequences/repercussions like my case lah. Kalau nak gaduh pasal benda kecik macam sireh junjung or berkat, please takmu gaduh please. Pick and choose your battles. You won’t have energy for them all. Just what matters most.
I also have to say that the only reason why I berani to be like this, is thanks to my mom’s upbringing and undying support for me. She has always been my greatest advocate and critic, and I am precisely this mentally self-sufficient because of her. So cheers to mothers who bring up strong and sensible women. God knows we need more of them around.